Recently I was thinking about way back in the day when I started my blog. Here is my very first entry from August of 2002. I wrote under the name ‘David Greenleaf’: David since I was a musician and was thinking about King David; and Greenleaf since I love gardening. The blog template lost something when I translated it to this site, mainly the titles of the posts. Eh… I’ve actually thought about this post often, but thats a long story for another time. We’ll get to that in the not too distant future. Peace…
[8/25/2002 5:08:18 PM | David Greenleaf]
Not very far away from where I write this, lies an old dog sitting under a very large, very old tree. I wonder at her loneliness, and if, in it, she finds joy. I hope that she does. Sitting looking out of my own window, high up in the treetops, I often think about her, that I left her behind to come here. There is a lot left behind in our lives.
But why a confessions page? Maybe because I think often of the seeming purity of other men’s lives in formation; and that many older seminarians can understand St. Augustine’s need to publish his own life’s shortcomings. I have not done anything so horrible. But I can admit that several phases of my life have been less than preistworthy.
Maybe I just need to learn about living a life in public. Can I take that? Maybe not. I don’t want that, after all. I’d rather spend my time under the old tree with my dog, thinking about God. But we are not called to that in life, are we? Maybe I can document some of my struggles, some of my fears, and gain a greater clarity in my discernment in the years ahead.
I would not think to be a preist, but only a better man. If I am not a good man, a good person who seeks spiritual integration, and to know God, then I am nothing. If I am a good man, fulfilling my baptismal call, then I will be a good preist. At least capable. Then and only then.
So, for now. Here we are.
posted by David Greenleaf at Sunday, August 25, 2002